I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
