gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
