My balls are so social today.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
