id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
