She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I would fuck him just for his dog
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize