i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
