I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize