butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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