Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
