Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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