whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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