before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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