her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just found puke in my bra..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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