whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
