PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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