I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
