I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
