I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
