my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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