The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
