office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
