Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
