Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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