this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
