Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
