I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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