your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
