I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
