I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
