he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
