I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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