I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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