no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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