OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
