Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
