Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
