chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
