I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
