Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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