This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
