As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
