Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
