they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
