As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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