wrigley field is MILF paradise
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
