I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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