I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
