They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The air was thick with penises
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
