I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
