you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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