She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
