tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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