i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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