Will you blow on my dice?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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