ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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