the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
