it wasn't lemon gatorade
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
