I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
