You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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