So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
they're like a gay fantastic four
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
