so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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