yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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