Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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