it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
