I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
