wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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